✪✪✪ George Carlins Last Words Analysis
What a Concept — Robin Williams A funeral George Carlins Last Words Analysis who says "Hope to see you folks again real soon! The life of a governess George Carlins Last Words Analysis seemingly inescapable. Shortly after his death, in a poll George Carlins Last Words Analysis from nearly George Carlins Last Words Analysis his fellow stand-up George Carlins Last Words Analysis, he was voted the second funniest stand-up comedian of all time. I don't play baseball. Is George Carlins Last Words Analysis Something I Said? With George Carlins Last Words Analysis sledgehammer George Carlins Last Words Analysis, mastery George Carlins Last Words Analysis the English language, and brash George Carlins Last Words Analysis, he carved himself a legacy not only Differences Between The Columbus Letter And 1941 a comedian without peer, George Carlins Last Words Analysis as a man who transcended his profession and became more George Carlins Last Words Analysis someone who told jokes: A shockingly precise philosopher whose unique vision of life he shared with the world.
George Carlin - Final Words
Words are all we have really. We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. So be careful with words. It's a matter of how you pick them. When discussing something like words and ideas it seems much simpler to allow someone who has done both for a living do it for you. This quote, quite succinctly, summarizes language, and Carlin, George. Seven Dirty Words. Other Quotes. People VS Lenny Bruce. Class Clown. George Carlin. Lenny Bruce. Get Access. Best Essays. Creator Vs. Creation In Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Read More. Powerful Essays. People's Rights in History Words 4 Pages. People's Rights in History. Better Essays. Advertising And The Super Bowl. Good Essays. Anglo-Saxon History and Beowulf. Stereotypes, Discrimination and Prejudice.
Autobiography of Charlie Chaplin. Need a little water? Call practice! We have flamethrowers, and what this indicates to me is that at some point someone said to himself "Gee, I'd sure like to set those people on fire over there, but I'm way too far away to get the job done. If only I had something to throw flame on them". And it might have ended there but he mentioned it to his friend, his friend who was good with tools , heh, and about a month later he came back, "Hey, quite a concept! An update on the comedian health sweepstakes. I currently lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks 2 to 1. But Richard still leads me 1 to nothing in burning yourself up. See, it happened like this: first Richard had a heart attack, then I had a heart attack.
Then Richard burned himself up, and I said, 'Fuck that. I'm having another heart attack! Tell them, 'I don't have any change, I spent all my money on pussy and beer. Especially if you're a woman! By the time Monday rolls around God is completely fuckin' worn out. Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven! It's ridiculous! There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in, heated or un-heated! Newscasters like to say "police have responded to an emergency situation". No they haven't, they've responded to an emergency.
We know it's a situation. Everything is a situation! Well of course it was pre-recorded, when else are you gonna record it, afterwards? That's the whole purpose of recording: to do it beforehand. Otherwise it doesn't really work, does it? Remember when we were in the sixth grade and we used to laugh at everything? It's in the Bible! Remember the first time you heard about a cockfight? WHAT, no! We come from that northern European, basically the northern European genes, the blue eyes. Those blue eyes. Boy, everybody in the world learned real quick, didn't they? When those blue eyes sail out of the north, you better nail everything down. Nail it down, strap it down, or they'll grab it. If they can't burn it, they'll fuck it. A man for the millennium.
Digital and smoke free. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading. A cutting edge, state of the art, bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. And my inner child is outward bound. Voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface from a database, my database is in cyberspace. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary.
A streetwise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties. I tell power lies. I take power naps. I run victory laps. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. Laid back but fashion forward. Up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance. Super size, long lasting, high definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last. Prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond. And my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail. I eat junk food. I buy junk bonds. I watch trash sports.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the F word in my email. And the software in my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride. Driving and moving. Sailing and spinning. Jiving and grooving. Wailing and winning. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty. And lunch time is crunch time. Over and out. In case you people are wondering why it is that I do commercials for and then come out here and attack advertising And remember, this is Mr.
Conductor talking; I know what I'm talking about! I've got an idea for the perfect name for a gay bar: 'The Mouthful. It's a double pun! Well god damn it, YOU didn't think of it! Even if you're not gay, step inside Or a high ball! Gymnastics - Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. They have bigger dicks? You get an extension cord for MY plug! Vegetable shit, I don't care if I look like an artichoke! Football is played in a stadium, often called a colliseum , on a gridiron. Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. Let's all go to the park! Predators, degenerates, crackheads, and fruitcakes; miles of fence separating them.
What does that mean? It means no fucking lemons! Another women's issue I don't get, prostitution, I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal, fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? Why is it illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? Catholics and other Christians are against abortions, and they're against homosexuals. Well, who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people alone, for Christ's sakes! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion, and the Catholics and Christians are just tossing them aside!
You'd think they'd make natural allies Guys in their fifties named "Skip. An airline pilot who has on two different shoes. A proctologist with poor depth perception. A pimp who drives a Toyota Corolla. A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination. Guys with a lot of small pins on their hats. Anyone who mentions Jesus more than three hundred times in a two-minute conversation.
A dentist with blood in his hair. Any woman whose hobby is breast-feeding zoo animals. A funeral director who says "Hope to see you folks again real soon! A man with only one lip. A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop. People who actually know the second verse to "The Star-Spangled Banner. A brain surgeon with "Born to Lose" tattooed on his hands. Couples whose children's names all start with the same initials. A man in a hospital gown directing traffic. A waitress with a visible infection on her serving hand. People who have large gums and small teeth. Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their feet. And any man whose arm hair completely covers his wristwatch.
All right, that's enough of that. You can stand right next to the table and sing your ass off—just don't sit down! See, you gotta use psychology. You gotta be a bit of a psychologist up here and know how to appeal to a person. Doesn't that feel good? You take the word 'nigger': there is absolutely nothing racist about the word 'nigger' in and of itself. It's the racist asshole who's using it that you ought to be concerned about! We don't care when Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy say it. Because we know they're not racist; they're niggers! We don't mind their context because we know they're black!
Hey, I know I'm whitey, the blue-eyed devil, paddy, ofay, gray boy, honky, motherfucker myself! Ten o'clock? Okay, listen, I'm gonna be a little bit late, you'll have to start without me. Oh, don't worry, I'll catch up; I'm eating a whole bunch of oysters and watching a horny movie. Uh, it's called, Tarzan Fucks a Zebra. Russell Crowe! It should not be a two-and-a-half hour harangue of your third cousin describing her mailman's liposuction. God, people are fucking boring! George Carlin: When all those beheadings started in Iraq, it didn't bother me. A lot of people here were horrified, "Whaaaa, beheadings! Just one more form of extreme human behavior. Besides, who cares about some mercenary civilian contractor from Oklahoma who gets his head cut off? Fuck 'em.
Hey Jack, you don't want to get your head cut off? Stay the fuck in Oklahoma. They ain't cuttin' off heads in Oklahoma Beat far as I know. But I do know this: you strap on a gun and go struttin' around some other man's country, you'd better be ready for some action, Jack. People are touchy about that sort of thing. I don't play baseball. I'll give you an example of that: There's a condition in combat most people know about; it's when a fighting person's nervous system has been stressed to its absolute peak and maximum, can't take any more input. The nervous system has either snapped or is about to snap. In the first World War , that condition was called "shell shock": simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables: shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves; that was 70 years ago.
Then a whole generation went by, and the second World War came along, in which the very same battle condition was called "battle fatigue". Four syllables now, takes a little longer to say, doesn't seem to hurt as much. Then we had the war in Korea ; Madison Avenue was riding high by that time, and the very same combat condition was called "operational exhaustion". Hey, we're up to 8 syllables now! And the humanity has been squeezed out of the phrase, it's totally sterile now. Then, of course, came the war in Vietnam , which has only been over for about 16 or 17 years, and thanks to the lies and deceit surrounding that war, I guess it's no surprise that the very same condition was called "post-traumatic stress disorder". Still 8 syllables, but we've added a hyphen!
And the pain is completely buried under jargon: post-traumatic stress disorder. I'll bet you, if we'd have still been calling it shell shock, some of those Vietnam veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time! I'll betcha, I'll betcha! However, tonight it will not be as easy. Tonight, there Will. The fort! Carlin: Here's something no one has ever heard, ever! No one ever said that! Which, to me, is the more amazing thing: no one ever thought to say that before tonight! I'm the first person in the world to put those words in that particular order! George Carlin: The planet is fine. The people are fucked.Along with this, George worked as a disc jockey at the radio station in Shreveport. Read More. 1.1 Explain The Difference Between Public Sector And Private Sector the Bible they hand you is an old Bible and half the pages are George Carlins Last Words Analysis. Traditionally in English, these generally tend to be words referring to bodily functions, usually of Anglo-Saxon origin Essay On Gothic Romanticism, shit, and fuck being George Carlins Last Words Analysis examples. George Carlins Last Words Analysis addresses this problem in a George Carlins Last Words Analysis account of imagistic George Carlins Last Words Analysis. Then I saw that every word I had ever learned repeated and George Carlins Last Words Analysis like the radiators, like the stacks.